Heavy When I Wake by Cordelia Cross

Heavy When I Wake by Cordelia Cross

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
It’s heavy when I wake—
Like chains beneath my skin.
Every breath I take
Feels like dragging lead within.
You walk with ease, with steady hands,
While I sink just trying to stand.
No blood, no bruise, no shattered bone—
But I fight battles all alone.

[Chorus]
You won't see it in my face,
But I run marathons just to leave this place.
This is the war no one can see,
A silent scream inside of me.
Every step is a mountain climbed,
Every smile is a veil I hide behind.
I don’t want glory, I don’t want fame—
Just a day where I don’t feel ashamed.

[Verse 2]
There’s no switch, there’s no release,
No moment of simple peace.
Just morning light that feels like weight,
And dreams that rot and complicate.
I fake the strength, I fake the laugh,
Split in two, stuck in half.
They say "it gets better" like a song—
But I’ve been singing it too long.

[Chorus]
I’m not lazy, I’m not weak—
But some days, I can barely speak.
This is the war no one can see,
A silent scream inside of me.
Every step is a mountain climbed,
Every smile is a veil I hide behind.
I don’t want pity, I don’t want praise—
Just to make it through the haze.

[Bridge]
And when the dark comes crawling in,
I hold the line beneath my skin.
No medals pinned upon my chest,
But I survived—
And that’s enough, I guess.

[Final Chorus]
This is the war no one can see,
But still it wages inside of me.
I fight to rise, I fight to stand,
With trembling heart and shaking hands.
You call it small, you call it pain—
But to me, it’s breathing through the rain.

It’s heavy when I wake…
But I’m still here.
And that has to be enough today.

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