Feeling Silenced

Dear Cordelia,

I have a large family and because of that, everyone is always cutting me off and making me feel like what I have to say is not important. This especially happens a lot with older family members who are old enough to know better when it comes to listening and being respectful to the people around you. Any time that I try to explain to them how I feel they tell me that I am disrespectful. How do I RESPECTFULLY explain this situation to them so it can at least get better or stop?

Please help, I am desperate here,

~Feeling Silenced

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Dear Feeling Silenced,

I COMPLETELY understand how you feel. I grew up in a Greek household where there were always a million of us around. My family only had two volumes; loud and louder. Part of it was because there were always so many people around that you had to speak loudly just to be heard and the other part was that there were so many of us that you couldn’t focus on what was going on in each conversation and they would talk over each other just to get out their piece whenever they could.

I would just politely explain to them that it bothers you and ask that they give you a chance to finish saying what you were saying and that it is hard to keep up with conversations when there is a lot going on. A lot of the time, people don't realize that situations like that can be so overwhelming because they are too busy contributing to the situation.

Then later when it happens again, maybe something like “Please let me finish what I was saying.” They might not even realize what they are doing if there is a lot going on. This way, they will also be reminded of your former conversation around it. If you don't address it politely at the moment it will never really change.  Just make sure that the tone you use doesn't betray your frustration and come out overtly sarcastic or angry and you should be fine.

I hope this helps!

~Cordelia Cross.