Panic Attacks and Anxiety for Anxious and Embarrassed

Dear Cordelia,

Right now I am having a really hard time struggling with my anxiety, and my panic attacks. Last Friday I had the worst one I've had in an extremely long time. I was getting ready to present a huge project I had been working really hard on for speech class when it happened. Just as the classmate before me finished his presentation I started hyperventilating. One of my friends tried to help me calm down and reached out and put their hand on my arm. I panicked and I swung at them and grabbed my things and ran out of class.

I feel so humiliated and I don't want to show my face again in class. I have to go back somehow though, there are only a couple more days of school and I still have my final as well as my presentation to give. I haven't panicked like that in almost six months and I feel like by breaking down and reacting the way I did I let myself and my peers down. I almost feel weaker and unworthy for giving in, when I should have just kept fighting it the way I have been.

I don't know what to do, my anxiety has gotten to the point where I feel like just failing the project and the class so I never have to go back to that same room of people. It is my senior year of highschool and it's just an elective. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Anxious and Embarrassed

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Dear Anxious and Embarrassed,

I know how hard it can be when a panic attack comes out of nowhere, and how isolated it can make you feel. I have had problems with depression and anxiety for many years and it took me a very long time to understand that those were both a big part of my issue.

I just want to take a moment to let you know that you are strong and can overcome this obstacle. Living daily with anxiety can be suffocating, but going a long time without a panic attack is simply proof that you are doing something right. You are finding ways to cope and to push off the anxiety any way you can, and your strength shows through that. Don't let this setback make you feel like you've done something wrong. Having anxiety isn't something you can just bottle up and control. There will be times when you let things out, or things get the better of you. The only way you could ever truly let anyone or even yourself down is if you give up and stop fighting to take your life back.

I know it's easier said than done, but just remember, most of the people you have around you in high school are people you'll never see again. Plus, so many new things happen each day that I'm sure things will blow over before you know it, just stay strong. In a day or two none of your peers will remember your outburst. They will be too busy talking about their Memorial Day weekend and their plans for graduation.

When it comes to your friend, if they are truly a good friend, they will understand once you talk to them about what happened. You don't have to talk about everything you are going through, but if you just let them know that you were having a panic attack or you got a bit startled and you didn't mean to lash out. If they don't forgive you or if they treat you horribly differently after that, they were never a real friend to begin with.

As for your class, I recommend having a sit down with your teacher. I would ask them if there's any way you could present to them directly instead of the whole class because of your anxiety. You mentioned in your original letter that this course was an elective you chose. Don't give up now with only a few days left. You chose this course for a reason, and you deserve to see it through. See if there's anything you and your teacher can come up with to make finishing your class a bit smoother.

You're so close already, and I have faith in your ability to meet your goals. I hope everything works out for you! If you need anything else, just email again or comment on this post and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Good luck!