Household Chores for Frustrated and Tired

Cordelia,

I am 17 years old and I still live with my parents. As the oldest child, I spend tons of time helping out with chores and things that need to be done around the house. My younger siblings who are fourteen-year-old twins refuse to help out around the house. My mom is a single Mom and by the time she gets home from work she is usually exhausted. She tries to tell them to help out or that they will get grounded if they do not do their part. However, when the time comes, she never follows through on their punishments and I end up doing their portion of the chores so she doesn't get upset coming home to a messy house. At the end of the next school year I have plans to leave and go to college out of state, and I know that if they don't start pitching in and helping now, they definitely will not when I leave. I don't want my mother to have more to stress out about. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Frustrated and Tired.

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Dear Frustrated and Tired,

I know how hard it can be when it feels like you are the only one helping out. I think a big part of the reason that your younger siblings aren't taking the time to help out is because they know that if they don't finish their part that you will pick up the slack. Personally, what I think you need to do is sit down and create a plan with your mom so that you are both on the same page with chores.

Then, after you two have sat down and had a serious talk about it, you should implement the plan together and relay all the conditions of the plan to your siblings TOGETHER. This way they know that these new rules aren't something you came up with on your own to intimidate them into behaving. This way they will know that you mean business.

They most likely will try to test your patience a few times to see if you really are serious about this new change. Try not to get discouraged, and follow through with the punishments that have been laid out within the plan. After they receive their punishments for the first few times, I assure you they will start to follow the rules in the plan.

I hope this works and you start to see an improvement. Good luck, and please tell us how it went!

~Cordelia Cross.