Out of Options

Dear Cordelia,

I’m 4 months pregnant and I moved 500 miles away from home to be with my partner. I just wanted our baby to have a loving home with involved parents. My family disowned me for moving out here. Now all of a sudden he started treating me horribly calling me names, hitting me, and threatening to injure me and take my baby away. All of our money is in a shared account he has access to and all of our things are tied together. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Out of Options.

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Dear Out of Options,

I am so sorry that you are in the situation that you are in. With a little one on the way, it makes this kind of situation even scarier because everything you do is on a time limit. However, this is the time that you need to get things into gear and get them under control.

Your absolute first priority needs to be getting yourself and your baby into a safe secure location away from their father. The best way to do this is to get the help of your local law enforcement. They can help you initiate filing for a no-contact order of protection and help you find local women’s and children’s shelters.

I’m not going to lie, it won’t be super glamorous, but you will be safe. From that point on, you will have what you need to get a fresh start in a safe place. From that point on, you need to stay away from his family and friends, do not answer any direct communications from him, don’t answer your door if it is him, and make sure that you keep your order of protection on you at all times. Always keep your keys and wallet in an easy to access area and remember that any violation of a no contact order of protection will result in jail time.

Abuse is absolutely no joke and more often than not, it is the children that suffer most in these situations even if they aren’t “physically abused” and merely witness yours. The ball is in your court to find a safe way to bring your child into this world, but the only way to do that is to reach out and get real help from the resources that are in place to do so.

I really hope this helps, and if you have any other questions, please reach back out to us again.

Stay safe,

~Cordelia