Borderline Stalking

Cordelia,

I just recently started dating in general and started seeing a friend.

I haven't known him long, but we seemed to hit it off. I still live at home with my younger sister and my parents. They are uneasy about me dating, but I convinced them that I am responsible enough to handle the responsibility and make good decisions around judging character. My boyfriend called me today and said that he saw me through my window. He described what he saw my sister and I were doing, word for word. He's creeping me out. I don't want to tell my parents. Is this supposed to be cute? What should I do?

Thanks for your help!

~Dating Newb.

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Dear Dating Newb,

I'm sorry you've found yourself in such an odd situation.

Personally, I would find this a little creepy.

Was he simply driving by or walking by and saw you through the window? Was he intentionally just watching you? Context can be everything. I would ask him sort of nonchalantly for clarification.

I would honestly kind of laugh a little sarcastically, and say “What are you doing outside? Were you in the neighborhood?” But that’s just kind of how I am. I definitely think you should tell someone. If it is making you uncomfortable it would be good to have someone know that it happened. I also think that you should talk to him about it too because you might just be letting your mind get away from you. Typically I can be pretty anxious and read too much into a situation. Something doesn't feel quite right here though.

I know you mentioned you two were friends but that you didn't really know him for very long. Is he typically a jokester, or maybe someone who just doesn't quite understand boundaries? I just know that it sort of feels like a red flag.

Do you have an aunt or another family member that you feel more comfortable talking to about this than your parents? Maybe that would be the best route so that another adult in your life knows about the situation as well.

Good luck and I hope everything works out!

~Cordelia Cross